Advance your self-awareness

Self-awareness - being in tune with your emotions - sounds simple enough, yet most of us overestimate how self-aware we truly are.

As emotional beings, we often assume we are fully in touch with our feelings. You might laugh or cry easily, but that does not necessarily mean you register the full range of your emotions without pausing to look deeper. One route to greater self-awareness is mindfulness: focusing on the present moment and accepting whatever surfaces without judgment. To zero in on your emotions, try this simple exercise:

Sit quietly in a comfortable position and close your eyes.

Call to mind something mildly sad, but not overwhelming.

Notice where in your body that sadness registers.

Rest one hand on that part of your body in a caring, soothing way.

Repeat these steps with other emotions in place of sadness: fear, anger, joy.

Growing awareness of these bodily sensations is central to becoming more emotionally intelligent. When we examine our emotions closely, we find they are made up of a bodily sensation paired with a thought, an image, or both. The more clearly we can identify emotions in our bodies, the more clearly we know when a feeling is rising within us.

Those sensations can act as an early warning signal for troublesome or negative emotions you might not want to act on reflexively. Picture your spouse or partner saying something upsetting in front of close friends. Take a moment to feel the sensations of anger in your body without reacting or saying anything right away. Give yourself a few moments to think clearly before you respond.

Keeping a journal is another useful practice, with special attention to how specific events or interactions during the day made you feel. Talking with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can also help you explore your emotions.